Fixin' to Die in Iraq

On February 22, 2004 FROM Randall Bart:

Fixin' to Lie Rag
by Randall Bart

Come on all you Americans.
Bush is President again.
He found a guy who's really bad.
The name's Saddam. He's in Baghdad.
So show some ID, take off your shoes.
What have you got to lose?

And it's one, two, three,
What are we searching for?
George said it, it must be true.
I believe in W.
And it's five, six, seven,
Tell me who I should hate.
There's no need to wonder why,
'Cause Presidents never lie.

The USA's the worldwide cop,
And evildoers must be stopped.
Saddam's got nukes and poison gas.
Let's go kick him in the ass.
Conquer the land, sell off the oil.
To the victor goes the spoil.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we searching for?
George said it, it must be true.
I believe in W.
And it's five, six, seven,
Tell me who I should hate.
There's no need to wonder why,
'Cause Presidents never lie.

Now there's rebuilding to be done.
Halliburton is the one.
Cheney says they have the skills.
We're the ones who pay the bills.
So give up your rights. Write me a check.
We'll make the whole world a wreck.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we paying for?
Dick said it, it must be spent.
He's our Vice President.
And it's five, six, seven,
Tell me who I should hate.
There's no need to wonder why.
Vice Presidents never lie.

Here's a link to a version complete with Photoshop illustrations.

From Peter Mish, March 2003:

well, c'mon kids and family men
Uncle Scam needs your help again
Got his-self in a terrible jam
with Osama and Saddam
So leave your job and pick up a gun
we're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

and it's 2 thousand 3, what are we fightin' 4
Don't ask me I'm a sheep and a lamb
Let's git that damn Saddam
every mom, sis, bro, let's bomb ol' Bagdad
Well, there ain't no time to wonder why
whoopee, we're all gonna die

well c'mon senators, don't hold back
jingo George wants to bomb Iraq
c'mon congress don't refrain
give the nod to get Hussein
Now's the time to back the prez
Never mind what the UN says
(chorus)

Well now c'mon networks, CNN
The ratings war is about to begin
Get those satellites in gear
cos a pulitzer prize is looming near
Just hope and pray when they drop the bomb
They drop it on ol' Saddam
(chorus)

Posted by Jason Berkowitz on the message board on February 18, 2003:

I wrote this "renovation" of Country Joes song about 4 months ago. Here it is:

Thirsty for Oil Rag
By Jason Berkowitz
(a modernization of Country Joe's Fixin' to Die Rag)

Now come on all you big strong men
Uncle Sam needs your help again
Got himself in the same old jam
Now we gotta get that ol' Saddam Snort up your coke
And pick up your gun
We're gonna have some Bush family fun

Chorus:
It's not '92 what are we fighting for?
Don't ask me why we must kill Saddam
Go ask the Exxon man
It's 2002 cover up the falling rates
We're not allowed to wonder why or whoopee! We're all gonna die

Who cares about Wall Street, so it's slow?
Come on use this war to forget, oh
There's plenty good money to be made
As long as you're in T.V. or the oil trade
Just hope and pray there's no Osama bomb or evil doers like Saddam

Repeat Chorus

Oh come on Dubya I know you're not fast
Daddy's presence, here at last!
Now you give power to the Feds
'Cuz the only good freedom is one that's dead
We all know peace isn't what you want
When you go off, bully, and taunt

Repeat chorus (2x)

Now come on snipers on Iraqi lands
Pack you bullets and shoot Saddam
Its cheaper for the United states
Just too bad they'll retaliate
Be the first one on your block to have your boy contracting smallpox!

Here's another "fixin" from the NYC Billionaires for Bush anti-war group:

THE ITCHING TO STRIKE RAG
Sung to the tune of The Fixing To Die Rag, by Country Joe & the Fish
By Mya Cash and Richard Anyou, NYC Billionaires for Bush's War
(aka, Jennifer L. Pozner and Emily Wilson)

Come on all you rich white men
Uncle Sam needs your weapons again
We've got ourselves in a wonderful fight
With any luck we'll start bombing tonight

So, cook all your books
And sell all your guns
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

CHORUS:
And it's 1, 2, 3 ?
We know what we're fighting for
A rise in our Raytheon stock
Each time that we strike Iraq

And it's 5, 6, 7
No need to investigate
The media don't wonder why
Too bad ? they're all gonna die!

Come on all you CEOs,
Let's all toast our corporate 'hos
Dubya's waitin' for us to say when
And Uncle Sam's pumpin' oil again

So, Army boys:
Get ready to go!
We're gonna make a whole lotta dough!

CHORUS: And it's 1, 2, 3, we know what we're fighting for...

Posted on the Crisis message board by "JD" on February 12, 2003:

Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way over yonder in the Arab lands
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

CHORUS:
And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Just show me your oil can;
And it's five, six, seven,
Fillin' up the SUV,
There ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta go out and get Saddam
The only good Arab is one who's been bombed
Make USA A-Number One
At blowin' them to kingdom come

Here's to the Auto Industry,
That touts gas-guzzlin' SUVs
I've got my flag sticker right on the back
My tank's full of gas from old Iraq
Just hope and pray that if we whack Saddam,
Osama don't get us back.

Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to fight Saddam.
Come on fathers, he's gotta be foiled,
Gotta make sure we get our oil.
Be the first one on your block
To have your kid come home in a box.

CHORUS:
And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Just show me your oil can;
And it's five, six, seven,
Fillin' up the SUV,
There ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Thomas & Jeanne Powers wrote:

Writing this was therapeutic. I can play a little fiddle part with it. Thanks for the inspiration.

Well come on George your time is past
Mobilize and build up fast
You gotta get out and get Saddam
He’s an imminent threat like the rest of Islam
You know your dad’s deed was never done
So nuke em into kingdom come

Chorus

And it’s one -two - three what are we fightin’ for
Don’t ask me just go with Uncle Sam
We’re out to get Saddam
It’s five-six-seven get your oil rebate
There ain’t no time to prove a crime
Yippee, they’re all gonna die

Chorus

So send in the UN to run the Blitz
The harder they look the tougher it gets
That’s OK cause it’s just a big production
Don’t really care about weapons of destruction
There’s something hidin’ deep beneath the desert soil
But it’s really just an awful lot of oil

Chorus

Motor cars, trucks, jeeps, and SUVs
Motor homes, boats, hogs and RVs
Can’t keep em runnin without the motor fuel
Gotta find more oil now I ain’t a honky fool
Iraq has the oil and Saddam got the keys
He’s an evil man believe George please

Chorus

Well smallpox, anthrax, and ricin too
A-bombs and nerve gas so what’s the big hadoo
Hiroshima and Nagasaki made some sense back then
Nuking the civilians instead of just the men
Regarding mass destruction there is only one to trust
Yes sir by golly that’s US

Chorus

I know the Texas oil boys won’t ever sell you wrong
They've built a pretty good case against old Saddam
It’s not so hard to rally just another vote or two
A couple one liners and a news flash should do
It doesn’t really matter what the public has to say
It’s a done deal anyway

Chorus

Well plundering the oil just ain’t an easy job
It takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears by god
The militaries got to be highly dependable
Put the kids in uniforms they’re easily expendable
Say goodbye to sister, brother, uncle, mom and dad
Then ship em to the streets of Baghdad

Chorus

Dear Joe
Have been entertaining the protestors at Freeway overpasses every Saturday here in Bellingham. Took the liberty of doing rewrite #499 of Fixin To Die. Figured you would not take offense, given the cause. The song resonates well with the other protestors. Have attached copy.
Do you remember a mellow party after a gig at "The Long House" here in Bellingham about 1972? Was the school from an old convert taken over by pagan hippies. I met you through Paul Dorpat. Keep up the good work. Hope you and your loved ones are well and happy.
Jim

Apologies to Country Joe McDonald

Fixin To D’Iraq Rag

Uncle Sam had a Pit bull named Saddam G
Gave em US arms to attack Iran C
Then Saddam found a taste for spoils G
Invaded Kuwait to take their oil C
Bush Sr. responded with Desert Storm A D
But he only did a half-assed job. G C

Chorus
And its One, Two, Three, what are we fightin for? D G C
Donít ask me, I donít give a damn, next stop is Iraq land. C G C
And its Five, Six Seven, open up the pearly gate, D G C
Aint no time to wonder why A D
Whoopee, were all gonna die.
G C

Twenty-first century wealth is tight G
America has squandered its industrial might C
A new golden rule is heard G
Control energy and rule the world C
Dictators and tyrants we tolerate A D
Unless we covet their oil G C

Chorus

In the New World Order war’s not the same
Battle is now a big video game
It’s a smart bomb high technology war
We guarantee no blood and gore
The Iraqi people will take the hit
We’ll blow em all to Aphghanistan.

Chorus

Molly Mockford wrote:

After some conversation in the newsgroup uk.rec.humour, I have come up with the following update to your lyrics to this classic song, which permeated the Sixties for me. I very much hope you don't mind, and I am asking anyone who disseminates it to include the copyright statement at the end.

I FEEL LIKE I'M FIXIN' TO DIE RAG, TAKE TWO

Well, come on, all of you big strong men
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's decided to attack
Some guy with a mustache in Iraq.
So put down your books and pick up a gun -
We're gonna have a whole load of fun.

[Chorus]
And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn;
We're gonna hit Saddam.
And it's five, six, seven, open up them pearly gates.
Well, there ain't no time to wonder why -
Whoopee! We're all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Hear your President's injunction:
Free the world from mass destruction.
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.

Well, come on Wall Street, don't move slow,
This war's your chance to go-go-go.
There's plenty of good money to be made
By supplying the army with the tools of the trade.
And pray, as the body-count grows higher,
That it's not all from friendly fire.

Well, come on mothers throughout the land
And send your sons to fight Saddam.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate,
Send 'em off before it's too late.
Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box.

Well, come on, Britain, join the fun -
You're Decoy Airstrip Number One.
Don't be cautious, don't hold back,
Join us out there in Iraq.
Remember how we supported you
In '17 and '42!

Posted recently on the Rainbow Family newsgroup:

I Feel Like I'm Fixin' to Die Rag by Country Joe MacDonald

(editing by Thunder, AGR, January, 2003)

Well come on all you big strong men
Old Dubya needs your help again,
The mess he's in is really tough,
Way down yonder in the Persian Gulf,
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lot of fun.

And it's one, two, three, what are we fightin' for,
Don't ask me I don't give a fig, next stop is them oil rigs.
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates.
Well, there's no time to wonder why,
Whoopee!
They're all gonna die.

Come on wall street don't be slow.
Why, Man, this war is a-Go-Go-Go.
There's plenty of good money to be made
By supplyin' the Army with the tools of its trade.
But just hope and pray that if they drop a nuke,
They drop it on old KirKuk .

And it's one, two, three, what are we fightin' for,
Don't ask me I don't give a fuck, just keep my gas below two
bucks.
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates.
Well, there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee!
They're all gonna die.

Come on Generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Now you can go out and get those Rags--
Cause the only good Iraqi is in a body bag.
And you know that peace can only be won,
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.

And it's one, two, three, what are we fightin' for,
Don't ask me I don't give a rat's ass, let's mop us up some Iraqi
trash.
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates.
Well, there's no time to wonder why,
Whoopee!
They're all gonna die.

Come on Mothers now don't be sad,
Pack your boys off to old Baghdad.
Come on Fathers, don't hesitate,
Send your sons off before it's too late.
And you can be the first ones in your block
To have your boys come home in a box.

Marc A. Catone wrote:

Dear Joe,
I sent the following parody of your great song, "I Feel Like I'm Fixin' To Die" to Bruce Franklin. He
gave me your email address, and suggested that I send it your way. I did this lyric parody purely for
myself, out of growing frustration with our impending attack on Iraq. I have sent these lyrics to a few
friends, and a couple of websites. I always make sure that I give you full credit for the song and its
inspiration whenever I send it to someone. Hope you like it.
Peace,
Marc Catone

Well, come on America,
It's time to defend,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in another big jam
With his former partner, Mister Saddam.
So turn off Survivor, watch the News at Ten
You'll see it all on CNN

And its' one, two, three,
What is Bush fighting for?
Forget the lessons about Vietnam,
It's time to go get Saddam.
And its' five, six, seven,
Stolen elections are grand
Well there ain't no use in making him mad.
Georgie needs to please his Dad.

Well, come on Rumsfeld, let's move fast
Colin Powell, he just won't last
C'mon Cheney, don't stand and gawk,
Stop acting like a chickenhawk.
Pre-emptive war is your plan for Iraq.
Now it's time to make your big attack.

And its' one, two, three,
What is Bush fighting for?
Forget the lessons about Vietnam,
It's time to go get Saddam.
And its' five, six, seven,
Stolen elections are grand
Well there ain't no use in making him mad.
Georgie needs to please his Dad.

Well, come on Wall Street, don't move slow,
Go directly to jail and find a CEO
There's plenty of stock options to enjoy
By supplying the Army with the means to destroy.
Just hope and pray that if they kill Saddam,
They do it with a very smart bomb.

And its' one, two, three,
What is Bush fighting for?
Forget the lessons about Vietnam,
It's time to go get Saddam.
And its' five, six, seven,
Stolen elections are grand
Well there ain't no use in making him mad
Georgie needs to please his Dad.

Well, come on parents, please come back
Send your children off to Iraq
Come on folks, now don't be sad,
Send them marching to old Baghdad.
You know its terrorists they will foil,
And don't forget, it's not about oil.

And its' one, two, three,
What is Bush fighting for?
Forget the lessons about Vietnam,
It's time to go get Saddam.
And its' five, six, seven,
Stolen elections are grand
Well there ain't no use in making him mad.
Georgie needs to please his Dad.

Pat A. Vesely wrote:

I Feel Like I'm Fixin' To Die, Rag, Redux
(With apologies to Country Joe and his fine finned friends!)

Give me an O
Give me an I
Give me an L
What's that spell?
What's that spell?
What's that spell?

Now come on all of you big strong men,
Republicans need your help again!
They might have to give the White House back
So the only thing to do is attack Iraq!

So send us your kids, we'll give them all guns,
It's time to start a new round of fun!

(Chorus)
And It's one two three what are we fighting for?
Stop asking and don't talk back, It's time to attack Iraq!
And It's five six seven open up the pearly gates,
Well It aint no crime to question why, (Whoopee!) they all got to die!

Well come on soccer moms throughout the land,
You know you need gas for your Mini-Vans!
Come on dads we can't hesitate,
We got to get Sadam before It's too late!

And you can watch it all on your TV
In the dashboard of your SUV!
Sing Out!

(Chorus)

You know Rumsfeld needs a brand new plan,
Since he lost Osama in Afghanistan!
And Bush he loves those two for ones,
Buys a lot of cheap oil while he sells more guns!

And you know for Bush it's gotta be great,
'Cause we forget about Harken-Gate!
Trifecta!

(Chorus)

Matt Carpenter wrote:

Hi Joe,
It's Matt Carpenter, the sax player from the shows at the Old Miami. I just wanted to drop you a line to say what's up, and to tell you that I just updated 'Feel Like I'm Fixin' to Die Rag' for 2003. I saw that you had updated it to talk about the Taliban. I thought I'd talk about the Dubya administration. Let me know what you think. I'm gonna be performing it at a coffee shop this weekend.
Cheers,
Matt

Yeah, c'mon all you patriots.
Dubya needs some men with guts.
Our need for oil's just increased,
And they got some over in the Middle East.
So, pick up your flag, and say your prayers.
We're gonna have 'em runnin' scared.

And it's 1, 2, 3...Hey, what're we fightin' for ?
Don't ask me. I don't know jack.
We're gonna bomb Iraq.
And it's 5, 6, 7...Open up the pearly gates.
It's too hard to question why. Whoopee ! We're all gonna die.

Now, c'mon Rumsfeld, lets move fast.
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta nail those towel heads.
The only good Arab is one who's dead.
We can never feel secure
'Til we've blown 'em all way for sure.

And it's 1, 2, 3...Hey, what're we fightin' for ?
Don't ask me. Our prez smoked crack,
And he wants to bomb Iraq.
And it's 5, 6, 7...Open up the pearly gates.
We lack the foresight to question why,
So, Whoopee ! We're all gonna die.

Now, c'mon Ashcroft, let's go, gent.
We gotta stop those who show dissent.
COINTELPRO's been brought back
Thanks to the good ol' PATRIOT Act.
We'll use your powers to make it seem
Bloodshed's the new American dream.

And it's 1, 2, 3...Hey, what're we fightin' for ?
I think you better watch your back
If you oppose war with Iraq.
And it's 5, 6, 7...Open up the pearly gates.
It's not right to question why,
So, Whoopee ! we're all gonna die.

Now, c'mon, mothers, help us out.
We need your children without a doubt.
C'mon fathers, show some heart.
Send your kiddies off to other parts.
Don't worry. If they get in a mess,
We'll return 'em via Fed Express.

And it's 1, 2, 3...Hey, what're we fightin' for ?
Don't ask me I can't keep track.
I think the Soup Du' Jour's Iraq.
And it's 5, 6, 7...Open up the pearly gates.
'Just lost the right to question why.
Whoopee ! We're all gonna die.

Germ warfare expert Dr. Len Horowitz penned this ditty.

Iraqi War Song
(or Feel Like I'm Smelling a Rat Rag)
by Country Bumpkin and the Hogs
Adapted from Country Joe & the Fish's VIETNAM WAR SONG (or Feel Like I'm Fixin to Die Rag)

Come on all of you dumbed down men.
The son of a Bush needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrorist jam.
When daddy sent war chemicals off to take old Saddam,
So roll up your sleeves for vaccines in your arm,
They don't tell you that they're doing you harm!

(CHORUS) And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
Most know it's the same old scam, next stop is old Baghdad
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates
Well, we've got no mind to question why, whoopee we're all gonna die

Now prepare yourselves generals for the big blast
India and Pakistan are heating up fast
Why you should go out and kill Afghans is
Cause the only good Taliban is one that's dead.
They say that global peace can only be won
When they blast us all to kingdom come

(CHORUS 2) And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
The clueless just don't give a damn, where the hell is Pakistan?
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates
Well with Prozac minds we don't care to know why,
whoopee we're all gonna die.

Now come on Wall Street don't be slow,
why man this is war so go-go.
There's plenty of big fortunes to be made,
by supplying the Chinese with the tools of its trade.
Just hope and pray that if they start the bombing,
they drop them on Osama Bin Laden.

(Chorus 3) And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
Most know it's the same old scam,
Now their waggin-the-dog at old Saddam.
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates
Well, we've got no time to wonder why,
whoopee we're all gonna die.

So come on mothers throughout the land
pack your boys off to old Baghdad
come on fathers don't hesitate
send your girls too before their wedding date
Be the first ones on your block
to have your kids come home in a box

(Chorus 4)And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
The clueless just don't give a damn,
About oil through Afghanistan
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates
Well, Rockefeller says the population's too high,
and half of us need to die.

So come on all of you dumbed down men,
The son of a Bush needs your help again,
He's got us all in a terrible jam.
Ousting daddy's partner bold Saddam,
So don't roll up your sleeves for any shots in your arm.
It's smarter to return to the farm.

That's all!